There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
