That's intense
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
