I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
