he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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