i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
