I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
