I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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