I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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