remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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