I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
