He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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