haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
