Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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