THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
