That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
porn star boner night. come get it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
