Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
