haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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