Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
