there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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