What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize