he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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