Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
