i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he thought i was a dude.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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