I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
