The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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