everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
