It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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