apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
