Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
