I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
