...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
