I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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