When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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