white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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