Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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