Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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