It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize