ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
