Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
