You can't special order awesome
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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