Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
