I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
