Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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