In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
