You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
