and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
