I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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