Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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