Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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