I skipped work to stalk him.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
