okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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