I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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