i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
