u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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