We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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