That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
