and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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