I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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