omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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