hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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