are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
