So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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