; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
