do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
