Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
