WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize