How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize
