id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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