she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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