Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize