I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
