Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

Fav 2 1390 841
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(586): View more from Michigan

I need a shot of tequila, and quick death

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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(816): View more from Missouri

She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"

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(970): View more from Colorado

And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.

Fav 1 242 401
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(516): View more from New York

I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die

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