we're blogging at a bar
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
