okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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