i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize