If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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